Chain Reaction
by childofspacegypsy1
Summary: Fluffy one shot. Something 'infects' part of the team and a chain reaction follows...D/V, S/J, C/C, T/I.


Chain Reaction

Childofspacegypsy1

Synopsis: Fluffy one shot. Something 'infects' part of the team and a chain reaction follows… D/V, S/J, C/C, T/I.

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Cam walks… correction… blows into Daniel's lab.

"Come on Jackson, can't SG -Someone Else do this?"

Daniel looked up blinking, "Uh, no."

"Why not?"

"Because there are no other teams available and because I enjoy torturing you."

"I knew it!! You just made this up so you could poke around some planet looking for any old dusty tomb. Admit it; you're just as bored as the rest of us."

"Who's bored?" Vala came in spooning Jell-O into her mouth.

"We are, and it's all you and your boyfriend here's fault. Can't we trade missions with another SG team?"

"He's not my boyfriend, Cam." Vala sniffed loudly.

Sam and Teal'c were leaning in the doorway.

"I believe O'Neill referred to him as her 'Babies Daddy', ColonalMitchell." Teal'c gave a slight bow to hide his smirk.

"It's _fiancée_." Daniel said looking over at Vala who was frowning down at the empty Jell-O bowl sitting on her stomach. _Uh-Oh._

Sure enough the next sound they heard was the beginning of a series of sniffles. Before anyone had a chance to open their mouths Jack O'Neill walked in and went straight to Vala.

"Who's making my favorite pregnant alien cry?" Jack frowned up at the group, his arm went around Vala.

Sniffle, "They all hate me, Jack." Sniffle, "I made Cam promise not to go on any missions without me, " sniffle, sniffle, "and Daniel will only let me go on boring ones" sniffle, "and now everyone is bored and it's all my fault!" Vala was wailing and hiccupping and flapping her hands around in the air.

Cam suddenly found himself at the receiving end of four very unhappy glares, and one very wet pout.

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Later that day Daniel threw himself into a chair at the table the rest of SG-1 was occupying. Head on the table he let out a long deflating sigh. "I don't know how much more of this I can take. I need to take her off _all_ off-world missions, but honestly I'm scared. She's nuts." He looked up at his friends- Teal'c and Cam were nodding in agreement- Sam looked a little less than enthused. He turned to Sam, "Sam do you think you could? You know...?"

Teal'c opened his mouth to offer his assistance in talking to Vala when a fast moving projectile flew past his eyes and landed with a _thwack_ against the side of DanielJackson's face.

Unfortunately for Daniel, that particular projectile was a glass bowl of Jell-O.

Sam pulled herself out of the chair she was sitting in and leaned over as far as her slightly protruding belly would allow. "WHAT?! You think just because I'm pregnant too _**I**_ should be the one to tell her that her hair brained fiancée is trying to keep her locked up at home so he can go frolicking through some crumbling ruin because he-can't-handle-what-little-he-has-to-do-while-she-is-giving-her-body-over-to-the_** Creation of LIFE**_?! _Which_, by the way is all his fault…and, while he's out partying with God knows who on whatever planet, she's having her uterus stretched to unbelievable proportions? And she can't control what she eats…much less when she has to go and pee!? Hormones…men…conception...Eclampsia…Preeclampsia…cervical fluid…"Sam turned and waddled out of the commissary at an alarming speed for the awkwardness of her stride.

The last thought Daniel had as he stared at the red Jell-O he had wiped off his head was, _wasn't Sam eating blue Jell-O?_

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As Cam and Teal'c walked Daniel to the infirmary, Cam couldn't help but think how glad he was that he was dating a girl like Carolyn. Not only was she calm under even the most intense pressure, but she wasn't pregnant. Cam figured that one day they would probably have children, he actually intended to ask her to marry him this weekend, but Carolyn was a doctor and would know better than to let such silly hormonal emotions cloud her thinking during her pregnancy.

With this comforting thought firmly in his mind he led Daniel over to a bed in the infirmary and turned to look for his previously mentioned girlfriend.

Cam found Carolyn at her desk staring at what he assumed to be some sort of medical instrument. "Hey Carolyn. Can you come take a look at Daniel, the pregnant half of SG-1 have been on the warpath today and they managed to draw blood this time..." Cam's sentence died off as he met the dark eyes piercing him.

"So the pregnant women are being _Crazy_ are they?" Carolyn stood up and cocked an eyebrow at him as she walked around her desk.

Cam gulped as he began to back out of her office pointing his thumb over his shoulder, "Um, yeah...well, Daniel...You alright, honey?" Cam smiled nervously.

Teal'c and Daniel looked up as Cam backed out of the office with Carolyn advancing on him menacingly.

"Alright? Am I alright?" Carolyn approached him waving the little white stick around between them. Cam was nervously recounting his last few words, wondering how for the second time today he had gotten himself into some kind of trouble. All he could do was nod dumbly.

"A plus sign, Cam, it's a plus sign!" She screeched. Cam stared nervously at her. "Do you know what that means Cameron?" All he could do was shake he head no.

Daniel looked over at Teal'c and mouthed, 'plus sign'. Teal'c only quirked his eyebrow as Daniel scooted out of Carolyn's line of sight and shuffled across the infirmary in search of a nurse. A male nurse.

"It means I'm pregnant Cam...Cam?!" Carolyn's voice faded out as Cam franticly blinked against the bright spots dancing across his vision.

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Teal'c wandered out of the infirmary with his hands behind his back, smiling to himself, and thinking how glad he was he was going to be a grandfather and a godfather soon. He also thought how glad he was that his days as a new father were far behind him. While fatherhood was a wonderful blessing and a great gift, he knew firsthand the trials of dealing with not only pregnant women, but even more frightening, a new mother.

"Unscheduled off-world activation." Teal'c turned to head to the 'Gateroom with one last thought…Yes, he was glad those days were over.

"Teal'c, report to the 'Gateroom!" Teal'c picked up the pace and started to jog down the hall.

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When the blonde Jaffa was through emptying her stomach into the bushes, she stood up and called to her 2IC. "Send someone to dial the 'Gate to the Tau'ri home world at once, and I am placing you in charge until I return."

"How long will you be gone?"

"Just long enough to find and kill myself one Jaffa." Ishta stormed off towards the Chaapa'ai.

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It had all started with Daniel Jackson and Vala Mal Doran. Not that he hadn't seen it coming. He just hadn't realized the full impact it would have on all that was the SGC…

General Landry sat at his desk mouth open, eyes open wider. Staring at the pile of files on his desk.

Blinking he looked up at the door his daughter had just vacated. WHAT!?

_Carolyn had stormed into Landry's office carrying a stack of familiar files. SG-1's medical files. _

"_What did they catch now?" Landry only need a glance to tell him whose files they were. What that glance didn't tell him was that that was the wrong question._

_The files hit his desk with enough velocity to send every other paper on his desk flying. He looked up too stunned to speak……._

"_Well, first I have three very upset pregnant women, two who may need to be put on bed rest after this last episode, and the two offending parties are sitting in my infirmary nursing head wounds." Carolyn twirled to storm out._

_At the door she stopped and threw one last statement over her shoulder, "And expect the missing file to be here within the hour. Ishta is making short work of him in the 'Gateroom."_

Three pregnant women?


End file.
